Together Yancey and I have six biological children from other marriages. There are numerous ‘extras’ that we claim as our own. Our biological kids range from 24 down to nine years old. Our extras range from 33 all the way down to five.
I gave birth to two stout young men that I am insanely proud of. Both of them are nothing more than the most perfect sons a mother could ever have. Please picture this, a four year old with a Woody (Toy Story) hat and cowboy boots. His normal response to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” was “A cowboy in the desert!” Then he began watching Steve Irwin and decided to be an animal wrangler until his first meeting with a spring frog. The blood curdling scream was a death call. Come to find out he had picked up this harmless looking little frog then rubbed his eyes with his sticky hands. Uh, yeah, it burns. We got him washed up and within months his grandpa had started the garden so he had moved on to farming and knee high rubber boots. Enter the Georgia Reapers. They happen to burn too. I always saw Clay as my slow gaited kid. At 23 years old I don’t expect him to change. Do you remember the buzzard from Looney Tunes?
His brother was another story. Justin was a speed demon from the start. He was more like Animal from the Muppets, even his hair stood out like that. By the time he could get up on his hands and feet he was pushing a Tonka Truck. That poor little yard sale find was all he wanted. I think he must have pushed it million miles. This kid is known as my Rock. He is 21 with an old man’s wisdom. When difficult times start bearing down on me, he is the one I call. He understands me and what I need to hear so I will quit being completely stupid and feeling sorry for myself.
Now both of them are college graduates with degrees in diesel mechanics and work for a local large equipment company. They are amazing young men and I’m so happy I get to call them my sons!
Emily, the eldest at 24, of the Kelly Kids is all love, light and beer. She is completely my idea of the perfect kid! She is super responsible and helps us so much with the smaller kiddos. Her cute little voice and beautiful red hair is just amazing. I didn’t know her in her goth stage but I would be willing to say she was the cutest little goth princess EVER! She is my go to when I’m sad or frustrated or just need to talk for a while about those girly emotions that still haunt me. I’m pretty sure she is an ancient old crone in the body of a 12 year old. I’m so thankful for her level head and fun personality. She keeps me straight when times get a bit out of hand and I’m feeling over my head in this great big family!
Maria is our little fighter at 15 years old. She doesn’t take crap off anyone. She is also the “cleaner” of the house. Her tolerance for a mess is zero. She is crazy beautiful and tough as nails. Her heart for sports is amazing. She plays hard and works hard. If I was able to go back in time and choose the type of girl I could be in high school, I would definitely be a chance taker like she is. I would recognize my beauty and power as a young woman and use it to its full potential. Ok, so if I looked like her I would have been an “exotic dancer” and made millions and retired by now… Well, maybe not because I wouldn’t have the beautiful family I have now (and I don’t want to encourage her into a shady night life)!
Then we have Dakota. She is the epitome of a thirteen year old girl. She is bright, studies hard, and plays in sports. She is quite the beauty in her own rite and a mouth that has no control most of the time. Her tolerance for other people is on the grounds of, “I hate everyone.” I did manage to get a laugh and “not YOU though” last night. Pray for her future husband, ya’ll. The man will have to have money and patience. One of her famous quotes is, “I’m SO DONE!” So, of course, the Boyett Boys have taken to calling her So-done and infuriating her as much as possible before grabbing her in a huge hug.
Bringing up the tail end is Brennon, better known as Bam Bam, and for good reason. He is a 40 pound, nine year old juggernaut. He doesn’t stop until he has passed out. Bless his poor teachers because I know they have their hands full. Mine are full at home with him and his daddy. I have become friends with many of them and we are working our way to getting some reasonable responsibility on him. An example of what we are up against is what has become known as the “Raccoon Incident” and plays out something like this… Bam and one of the neighborhood kids are riding their bikes around our loop and spot a small raccoon in the ditch. Light bulbs go off in their heads so they pedal like the hounds of hell are on their heels back to the house and commandeer one of my laundry baskets… (Do you feel where this is going?) Riding a bike while carrying a laundry basket is difficult so Bam puts it on his head and looks like something from an early Star Wars movie. At this point all of us are in the yard watching the sure disaster that is unfolding. Two little boys toss their bikes over and stealthily move in on the creature with the basket held in front of them. Plop! The basket is over the small bandit! The boys look at one another, “What now?”
The basket is upside down over the baby raccoon and they want it upright so they can carry the little fellow… Bam slides his hand under the edge so they can flip the basket and settle the raccoon in it. It didn’t exactly happen as they planned in their heads. There was much hissing and a small scratch and the tiny bandit was free and running! Bam came screaming that he was dead and could not ever recover from such a tragedy as this. Soooo, he was petted, bandaged largely and I wiped his tears away before too many people noticed. His version seemed to grow into a major attack by a giant raccoon with glowing yellow eyes and fangs as big as a tiger. He had fought valiantly against the beast but decided he should be released back into the wilderness.
So as you can see, we are full of fun and a bit of frustration! Please feel free to join in and follow the journey we have embarked upon! There will be many more stories and hilarity with this family!