Death is not a Participation Sport

I’m sitting here trying to figure out some things because I’m angry… There is a storm in my heart and mind that is ready to come in like a tornado and rip a huge path through our lives. I’m watching people die and kill every good thing they touch in the mean time.

I’ve never had a drug problem so it is difficult to understand when someone does but I see the effects of it on families daily so I’m speaking from that side. Numerous family members have been caught in the clutches of drugs so I have a basic understanding and I’m not without pity.

I’m not talking about marijuana, but rather the type of drugs that have your teeth rotting out of your head and neglecting your children so you can go out and sell and do “things” to get your next fix. Meth, prescription drugs of all kinds, heroin, and cocaine have become huge here in Arkansas.

Yes, we know you are on it. We see it in the sores on your face and arms and the constant picking and chewing. We can tell that you haven’t bathed in days because you smell bad and your hair is in need of a hard scrubbing with dish detergent. We can see that your children do not have the basics in their life like food, electricity, water, and general care by their parent. You are neglecting your loved ones because you are addicted.

The friends you keep tells us many things. We all know Jesus sat with sinners… but you cannot make the claim you are doing as Jesus did, because the catch is that He sat with sinners WITHOUT SINNING. He did not participate in their bad behavior, but rather encouraged them to change their lives for the better. Do not start about us judging you either, because if you actually know that scripture you would see that the popular saying can’t hold water against what the Bible is saying. (It is your choice whether you choose to believe it or not but you cannot preach what you do not know.)

Remember the old saying, if you lay down with dogs you will get up with fleas? That also translates: if you hang out with drug users you will use drugs. If you aren’t into drug abuse then hanging out with that type of person isn’t what you want to do. It isn’t fun or entertaining. It is sickening to know they are killing themselves and destroying the ones that love them. That is how it works and we are not fooled by your promises and denials. We love you but we will not coddle you any longer. You are an adult and insist to be treated as an adult. So you get your wish.

As an adult, you are expected to take care of your children, take a bath, keep a job, and pay your bills without borrowing from your family and friends because you are wasting your money on drugs. We love you, but we see you and what you are doing and we do not condone it. That means we do not agree with your current choices and refuse to be dragged into your choices and drama with your friends. You are on your own.

When, at the end of the day, you choose to clean up, we are here. We will help you if you show you are committed to getting clean. We will support you and be thankful you have chosen to be a son, daughter, mother, or father again. The story of the prodigal son comes to mind. It didn’t matter how bad the child was, the father was still ready to bring him back into the household.

There are consequences to your actions and a price for those consequences that you must pay before your family can fully trust you again. They will be filled with joy to have you back but you must put in the work to clean up and be responsible for yourself. Avoid those that are not choosing to get out of that life. You cannot be who you need to be if they are still a part of you. You are not able to save them. You must save yourself and let them work out how to save themselves.

Get some help before your family is burying you. You are choosing to die if you stay in it.

There are numerous places you can get help. I am posting a few links to get you started but you actually have to call before they can be any help to you. Free Rehab Centers, Alcoholics Anonymous, and Narcotics Anonymous are possible starting points. I will not argue the sides of addiction such as disease or choice because it does not matter. The outcome is the same: families destroyed and the addict dead. You don’t get a participation trophy you get a headstone.

If you are a family member or friend wanting to help support this person please contact any of the above links or Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. You can also contact numerous churches or community support groups to help you stand firm during this time. They will give you the tools to recognize signs as well as teach you how to handle an addicted family member or friend recover and get healthy.

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